We talked about it quite a bit. I even met up with a friend to get more information. She gave me some books to read. I had began to envision the labor I would have. We were looking into a birth tub and talking about which room I would want to labor in. But one thing kept holding me back, what if baby got stuck. Why would I even think this? All my past births I had no problem of this Even I was told by my hip doctor that a PAO doesn't effect the pelvic shape or the ability to give birth. So why the feeling? Maybe because I hadn't given birth with my reconstructed hips or that my pelvis just seemed wonky. I don't really know. Now I only had this strong feeling early on and towards the end of the pregnancy. As the time grew closer to the big day I also felt that the baby wasn't going to tolerate the birth process.
My goal was to get at least through the first week of December, the second week would be a bonus. Why? It was just a lot to put on the grandparents with all the activities the kids had in December. I tried to have a basic plan just in case but really it was going to be playing it day by day with their schedules. I did make it through the first week of December. Yes! So I decided that on Monday Dec. 9th I would plan to clean out the fridge and do some grocery shopping so I would have some easy on the go snacks for afterwards. Or at least I thought.
After trying to go bed on Saturday 12/7, I just kept tossing and turning. About 3am I woke Dusty up to tell him I was hungry for some pancakes from McDonald's. Very odd that I actually wanted to eat. He went back to bed and didn't get back up until 630ish to go to 7am mass. He tried to call to see if I still wanted breakfast but I had stayed in bed and didn't hear my cell phone. Yes we have a house phone but I can only assume he didn't call that in case kids or mommy were still sleeping. I was a bit upset that he didn't surprise me with breakfast. The morning went on and I just felt so heavy and big. The girls and myself went to later church. During church baby kept moving its head which would spasm my bladder so I made a waddle dash for the restroom to only go a trickle amount of pee. Ugh. Same thing happened when I got home from church. Baby moved its head and I waddle dashed to the bathroom but this time I couldn't even pee. I finally leaned back on the tank of the toilet with my back and was able to go a little bit. By the afternoon I was tired and took a nap on the couch. After waking up I worked out some plans to pick up some sample essential oil I wanted to use in labor. We decided to take the girls to see the movie Frozen and afterwards picked up the oil.
Dusty and I watched a TV show in bed Sunday night but I fell asleep and he kept talking to me to keep me awake. Once the show finished the TV went off and as I was about to fall asleep, contractions kicked in. These weren't any Braxton hicks, these were the real deal. I was a bit upset as I just wanted to sleep. But I thought ok maybe I can rest in between them. 5 minutes later another contraction. By 1145pm I decided to put a contraction timer on my phone. They were about 5 minutes apart. I woke Dusty up to let him know. He got up and got dressed. I decided I should get some things together. After awhile he went back to bed. Now if the contractions weren't enough my body decided that it needed to cleanse itself because all I did in between contractions was poop. I had this crazy thought in my head that I was going to be smelling of poop so I showered. And that is when I realized why my contractions felt different then with Edgar. It was all in my back.
I just began to get irritated and angry with the contractions. I was tired. I didn't want to poop anymore. I wanted a little bit of sleep. At around 4am I decided that I would try some calming tea, not to stop the contractions but more to help me relax into the contractions. I also ate an apple at that time as that was the only thing that sounded ok. I listened to my music quite a bit to drowned out any type of noise. Not that there was a lot of noise during the night but it did help me focus from the sleep I really wanted. I also tried to straddle the toilet to help open my pelvis to help baby position. I tried swaying with my hips and applying my own back pressure with hands. So by 5 or 6 am Dusty asked if I wanted him to stay home. I told him that was his decision. When in reality I was really hoping I would be getting an urge to push. So once again I took another hot bath and would let him know when I would get a contraction. He only heard me tell him about every other contraction. By 730-8 am the little kids began to wake up. I was also really liking the toilet. I also took full advantage of Paylynn's little hands of helping me push on my back. Then with one contraction I just felt this different feeling with pressure and thought my water is going to break. And sure enough here is Emma and Edgar hanging out in the bathroom with me asking questions and Paylynn helping push on my back. Then SPLASH my bag of water broke and all it went into the toilet. Dusty heard it in the living room where he was at.
He asked what I wanted to do. I said go in. I just felt uncertain after that. 8.5 hours of labor and I still had this feeling. We get there and get checked in. My blood pressure was elevated. The nurse retook it and elevated. So she tells me to take some slow deep breathes and retakes it. It was better. Thank goodness. Then I try to give a urine sample but my water just kept leaking so that was unsuccessful. She told the resident that she wasn't going to check to make sure my water had broken as the urine cup was full of amniotic fluid and vernix. He was good with that unlike the resident I had with Hannah that just insisted.
I was checked and only at a 4 and 70% effaced with baby high up and he wasn't sure baby was even head down so I had an ultrasound to confirm. Thankfully baby's head was down. The back labor was just intense and hurt. I was tired and fought each contraction. At one point I was checked again and I was a 6. Finally I just said I can't do this anymore. I am tired. I am done. I don't want to feel these contractions. I want to rest. Dusty kept trying to talk me out of the epidural. The nurse asked if I wanted to be checked and maybe I would be further along and that might help me get through this part. I said ok. But I was still a 6. I was done and looked at her and said I want the epidural.
If you have ever had that feeling of disappointing anyone in your life then you know that feeling I write of. Well I had that feeling. I knew I disappointed Dusty. I felt it greatly. I didn't have to be told. I just had no energy or desire to keep going on. The epidural was placed. I could only lay on my right side as baby didn't tolerate my left side. Dr then checked me and said he could stretch my cervix to an 8 but when the resident checked me later in the day I was still a 6. Finally the nurse decided that she would try my left side again and thank the Good Lord that baby tolerated it. I was about in tears with the this upper pain I was feeling in my right upper rib. I also felt myself blowing up like a whale. The nurses couldn't get any urine to drain from bladder. The nurse did tell the Dr that she thought the baby was not only coming out face up but catywhompus. So the dr checked and tried to help position baby and stretch my cervix. Baby did not tolerate this one bit. Baby's heart rate kept dropping into the 90's. He also confirmed that baby was stuck on my pubic bone face up with the eyebrow trying to come out first. My contractions also began to fizzle out so I was given the choice of nipple stimulation or Pitocin. I decided on Pitocin as things weren't going as planned and I had already disappointed him. I just felt very down. More on that in a later post.
He thought that maybe baby was trying to figure out the position and when my water broke it shot baby's head down causing the head to get kinked and stuck. He kept having me push. But baby wasn't tolerating this at all. I was so tired. I have never had to work this hard to push any of babies out. He did step out and came back to talk about using a vaccum to help along with my pushes to help get baby unstuck. He told me they allowed only three times and then the next thing is to proceed to a c section. Honestly it was on the tip of my tongue to just go for the c section. That is how tired I was. And anyone who knows me that I don't want csections unless absolutely needed. Oxygen was placed and I was told to push. I prayed to the Lord to be my strength. That I needed Him. And with that I gave it my all. I found something in me to gather up all my strength I had left and push. What relief to my ears to hear stop pushing I did it. I got baby's head unstuck and under my pubic bone. ALLELIUA! Baby's heart rate immediately returned to normal. And with in a few pushes my baby was in my arms. My sweet baby BOY! Yes after 19.5 hours of active labor I was able to hold my baby.
I didn't tear but I did swell and bruise. I also retained the IV fluids that were given to me.
Now began the journey of the postpartum journey. But this was the song that helped me get through the labor and delivery. It was not at all what I had anticipated or wanted. It was far from what I dreamed. But God has a plan. And His plan is ALWAYS better then my own.
I call on You Lord. I need You in all things.
