Don't Want That Again

On Thursday May 13th, I was getting Emma our from the bathtub. I steeped back with my left leg to give me more stability but instead it gave out on me. It hurt so bad at the time and was more then just eye popping pain, I let out an "OWWWW." I also put Emma back into the tub because...
1.) It hurt really bad
and
2.) I felt like I might actually fall if I held on to her.
This is the worst I have ever experienced this. I have always been able to stabilize myself no big deal but this time I didn't think I was going to be able to. It scared me. And I am not the vocal one when I am pain. I hold it in so for me that also was a first. But when it does this it just catches me off guard and BAM just like that your eyes pop open wider and then most times it is gone or rapidly decreases. Now sometimes the pain will linger but there is no gradual onset or warning, it just hits suddenly.
This happened since. Well I mean to this severity it hasn't. I have been able to cope with it. Somedays they feel very unstable and like they aren't going to support me. I feel like the wrong move or step will set it off. I feel like I walk with caution those days but those days so far have been tolerable besides feeling like I am walking on ice. But the days when it is unexpected is what gets me and that tends to be the eye popping BAM! What bothers me is that I can't control or know when it is going to happen or how bad it will be until the moment it is happening.
I have also noticed that on the unstable days, it is hard to hold the younger two while standing. I feel like I am going to collapse. I know that this could be from the pregnancy hormone that relaxes all the joints.
Dusty has been great and very understanding. He helps me as much as he can when he gets home from work. I understand that he is tired but what he does for me is very much taken to heart and dearly appreciated.

Happy Birthday Hannah.

Yes 6 years ago I gave birth to our sweet and sensitive Hannah Rose. Yesterday she and her daddy made chocolate cookies so she could bring birthday treats to school. She came home so proud and told me that her teacher loved them. It was really cute to watch them interact like that. Usually this is a mommy and daughter thing but mommy just doesn't feel good right now. Emma even helped. She would spoon out some cookie dough and ask daddy if she lick her finger. He would say no but drop it on the pan like this. So she would. Then she would get more dough and ask again. Yes the repeat question. Isn't it fun! But it was great for him to do this with the Hannah.
I made her a chocolate sheet cake today and added some pink and purple sprinles on top. We sang her Happy Birthday and she blew her candles out. Big sister Arianna wanted to be playful and add some trick candles. So we did. Hannah kept blowing them out. Emma even tried blowing the candle out. Brady wanted to blow but then it went out on its own so he was a bit upset but he will get his day in July.
Our sweet, sensitive Hannah Rose. We love you! Happy 6th Birthday!!!

My Hips and My Kids....Hmmmmm

The past few days have been really hard on me, ok probably the whole week. First my right hip and leg has really been putting up a fight. It was really bad at the start of the week but has calmed since. Even the left was acting up. I have also been feeling the giving out more and with it comes this new feeling of them being unstable, even if I am just standing. It feels as if they aren't going to hold me that they are really loose and wobbly in there. I don't really know how to describe thise feeling. I know that sounds like giving out but it isn't that. They feel like they aren't going to hold me. I think it might be due to the relaxin that is released during pregnancy. And maybe what could be happening is that the joints are loosening up and giving me this new feeling of being unstable and wobbliness.
I have also been battling the morning sickness but it isn't anything new except that right now it is winning. Yesterday I was unable to keep down breakfast and lunch. So I finally gave in called the doctor and left a message with his murse. Who called back within 15 minutes. She said she would call out dissolvable zofran 8mg. She told me that it works better than the pill form, which is what I was currently taking. She then asked if the zofran was even working. I told that it ssems to work when I take it in the morning and afternoon but by evening I am really fighting to keep down whatever I eat and find myself lying on the couch. And she said that she would call at some phenergan also. So I was instructed to take a zofran in the morning and a phenergan at night. The phenergan wiped me out last night. And I felt the effect into today. I like the dissolvable form because if I get sick no pill comes back up, it is already gone. But they are pricey little things. For 30 it runs over $200 so thank goodness for insurance to help pick up most of that cost.
Yesterday as I was getting sick in come Emma and Paylynn. They came right up to the toilet and were watching mommy get sick. They kept trying to reach their hands in what was coming up and out. I kept batting their hands away. I couldn't say much because that part was a little tied up. They never got the point and I had to keep shooing their curious hands away. Then Emma had to look up into mouth and see how I was getting sick. I guess it really fascinated her because later that night, while I was laying in the recliner I heard her back in the bathroom spitting and gag and then flush the toilet. I told Dusty that Emma was back there trying to get sick like mommy.
My hips and my kids...hmmmm never a dull moment.

Almost Forgot...

Yes I almost forgot how bad the pain can be. But I have been reminded ever so much by the right hip and a little from the left. The right hip really started to bother me yesterday afternoon. I didn't do anything that should have irritated it or made it hurt that bad. But that is the thing, you don't have to do anything just open your eyes and the hurt, pain, stiffiness, and feeling is all there. And yesterday it was there in full force causing my right foot to turn in. So yes it was a bad day. I didn't do much moving. I did go outside and get some sun. That was really nice. Dusty worked in the garden to prepare it for planting. He also dug up a fence post that was used for our temp. fence. But now that we have up our permanent fence we don't need these extra posts. Plus they are just in the yard, a hurt waiting to happen from one of the kids running into them. But he did get it out after much hard determination. Now just a few more to go but I think the one did him in for a while. Oh well.
Today both hips are really bothering me. I almost forgot how bad they did hurt until yesterday and today. If I could take something stronger then tylenol I would today. They hurt that bad. My right is turning in really bad. ARGH. But I honestly can't complain they really have been good. A day like to day makes me appreciate the other days. I will get through this, whether the tylenol works or not. I know there will be more days like this. They aren't fun but I know that one day I will feel better. I can do this.