What a Start

Once I found out that we were going to have baby number 6, it throw for me for such a loop and meant things were going to change. But I didn't realize what was in store for me. So I stopped taking the tramadol for the hip pain and the lexapro for anxiety/depression from how overwhelming everything seemed to be when I found out I had congenital hip dysplasia. I decided that stopping all the medication would be the best thing for the baby. I don't want to harm the baby in any way possible.
So Monday was the first day to stop everything. And WOW did I ever hurt. I felt the difference. Because if the pain became untolerable then I could take the pain medicine. But not this time. And why they honestly had to hurt that bad is beyond me. But I took Tylenol for it. And made it through Monday but was feeling a little strange. Not sure how to describe the feeling but that I just didn't feel right.
Tuesday came and my hips still were bothering me but that wasn't the problem. I didn't feel good. I thought that I was getting sick because I was feeling achy, and breaking into hot sweats and then chilling really bad. So I took Tylenol and that seemed to work. But then I kept getting this strange sensation in my head and it was there every waking moment. I thought that maybe I was just dizzy. But not really because I have been dizzy before and that is not how I felt. And I kept trying to explain it to mom. We both thought that maybe I just needed to eat protein and drink more water. So I cut up 5 celery stalks and stuffed them full of peanut butter and drank 3 big glasses of water. YUM! But no relief. I just didn't feel right. I told my mom that as crazy as this sounds it just feels like my head is sending shocks. I felt crazy! I also was getting very irritable and short tempered. Every little thing was disturbing me to the point of causing me to freak out over bumps in the road (what was that I hit) or to get mad over a little mess on the floor. But I did manage to mop my kitchen and entry way floors. I also ran the sweeper. I went to bed that night still having the same sensations and tossed and turned. I was restless.
Upon waking on Wednesday I just felt miserable and awful. I was too the point to everything just set me off in a mad angry rage. I thought no wonder I don't need any more kids. I am too impatient. I was aching, having hot sweats like none other, breaking then into chills beyond disbelief. I would have the urge to have a bowel movement and would get to the bathroom just to strain and end up having hemorroid trouble. I couldn't blame this on a prenatal vitamin, I just took one in the morning. I have been eating fiber and haven't trouble like this for a long time. I thought I had this under control. Now what is going on here. I thought I was falling apart. And that being disappointed to having to change my plans was really taking a toll on me. I didn't know why I was feeling this way. And yes my brain and body were doing this wierd shock like thing constantly and it came to the point to where just moving my eyes I felt like my brain and head were going nuts. It was making me go nuts. Because by the evening I had lost it and was yelling at Dusty for something really off the wall. I was losing it and all because I felt like my head or brain was sending constant shock waves. I wasn't able to do anything without it doing this. I felt like I needed to be locked up in the nuthouse. I called my mom and was in tears but then I accidently hung up on her. And before calling her back I decided to go to the bathroom. And my sweet little baby Paylynn took the phone and somehow got lucky and managed to turn the ringer off. So when I went to page the phone I couldn't find it. But since I was having these strange sensations I didn't even think to get my cell phone. While I was yelling the way I was feeling to Dusty, I went to put my shoes on and go into the ER. I was so miserable at this point that I needed to find out what was wrong. But instead I decided to just lay down. Dusty then came and turned on the light and asked if I googled lexapro withdrawal. I just ignored him. And he said that what I explained to him were withdrawal symptoms of lexapro. I got up and asked to read it to me. And he did. Wow! That is something. I wasn't imagining this. So I went to lay in bed. And then the doorbell rang and it was mom and dad. They were worried that I had fainted and that Dusty hadn't made it home yet from Brady's boy scout meeting. So I was such mess at this point. Now crying and sobbing in my mom's arms and her consoling me we all sat down in the living room and just talked. Then they left and i went to bed but had to move to the couch because my left hip was just deep aching. And that is were i slept all night.
Thursday came and I got up feeling even worse. I took the kids to school feeling miserable. But once I got home I really debated on taking the lexapro until talking to my PCP about it. But it didn't take long before deciding to take a fourth of the pill (2.5 mg). I felt guilty but I needed a little relief. I think I would have jumped off the balcony. I called the PCP once office hours began and left a detailed message with the receptionist to give to the doctor. The nurse called me back and told me to NOT take the tramadol or lexapro. But to take tylenol for the pain and a prenatal vitamin daily. And that the withdrawals are going to last at a least week. A week! Oh boy put me in that nuthouse now I am becoming a harm to myself from the inside. So i called the ob office at this time too. I would like to see her before May 10th and maybe she can help get me through. I left another detailed message and waited for the return phone call. I did receive an email from Dr. Millis and he recommended Tylenol for pain, taking it easy whenever I hurt, and that he wasn't sure how my hips would hold up during pregnancy but that we will reevaluate them again after delivery. Oh was I feeling better ok more like comforted but I was feeling better. My brain wasn't zapping me as bad. But that was probably due to the fourth I took earlier. Even my moods were calm. I felt more like myself. Finally the ob nurse called me back in the afternoon and told me to take Tylenol for the pain and a benadryl to help relax my mind and body. Ok. But it didn't end there. My ob is leaving in June. So I will now need to find a new OB. Seriously why and why now.
So that is where I am at now. Finding a new OB and dealing with awful withdrawals from the lexapro. And trying to manage my hip pain. This may be a rough start for this new journey but maybe the road in the end will be smooth and easy going. All I do know is that for now I will need to take it easy and take it day by day, moment by moment.