Oh...Disappointed

I just feel like crying at this point. Still no surgery date. No end to the pain yet. Dr. Millis was such a wonderful friendly doctor. He answered my questions without me having to ask them. That is how well he explained everything. He showed me good xray of a normal hip and then showed me an xray of a fixed hip. You couldn't even tell the hip had been cut! That was amazing. The hip looked normal. He went over how I have "hole" on one of the femur bones due to stress to the cartilage and my hips not working properly. He did a lot of different ROM. He asked me to walk. He also asked what type of pain I am experiencing. And said my left was worse then the right. I do need to do surgery soon or otherwise a PAO won't work. WIth a PAO he didn't guarantee that I wouldn't ever need a THR. ANd that the PAO could get me through the next 5 years to possible my whole life. And gave me about a 25% chance of needing a THR based on the cartilage he saw from the MRI. He just really worries about the distance and having 5 kids. ANd really spoke highly of Dr. Sierra in Minnesota. He also recommended a Dr. GArvin but he isn't on our insurance. He did say that he would do the surgery if I wanted him to but he just really worries about the distance when there are closer doctors. So I just don't know what to do. I feal numb and feel like crying. I am just disappointed. I was really hoping to come back with a surgery date. I just want to feel better and have another baby. So right now I am not feeling like my usual cheerful self. I don't want to meet anymore doctors or have to call the insurance company to fight them just so they will cover an out of network doctor. All I want is to feel better. And I felt personally like Dr. Millis had such a wonderful demeanor, which I really did like. I just don't know. I just want to be home sitting down and be able to cry.