Lately I have been feeling such unhappiness with life. I am frustrated with myself. I am tired of being asked how much longer I am going to be on crutches. I don't know. I am already going against Doctor orders and hobbling around the house just so I can feel "normal". I think that I should be further along when I am asked how many weeks I am. It makes me just feel unhappy like I am such a burden. Dr. Millis said no PT until he sees a current set of xrays. Of course he could have had the 3rd set if the original appt hadn't been cancelled because Dr.Buhr wasn't hearing anything from Dr. Millis. Well he wasn't responding because it was taking 2-3 weeks for him to even receive the xrays. Now that is put on the clinic. Just frustrated with those around me.
I don't want to hear how young I am or that someone else has it worse then me. Yes both are right. I am young and there are others who have it worse. But I am struggling to just get through each day. Dusty goes to work and comes home tired from walking all day. The laundry doesn't just stop. The kids like to eat so dishes are always in the sink piling up. The floors are a catch all from what doesn't make it into the kids' mouths. Two are still in diapers all day. The little ones need baths. It doesn't stop because mommy hurts or mommy is learning to walk again.
I am trying to get through this but it is hard! I am smiling but so close to tears. I just want to yell at those around me but I don't. Instead I just keep on living each day, knowing that I can do this.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Email News
Just breath and count to 10. Exhale slowly, inhale slowly...repeat. This is really not working for me. I am trying very hard to control my frustrations with the world around me.
Arianna and myself were to have appt last Wednesday with Dr. Buhr in town. But the nurse called to cancel it since they have heard no word from Dr. Millis. So a couple days later I finally sat down to write Dr. Millis an email myself. And he wrote back saying he finally received our Dec. 14th xrays. Why it took so long for the clinic to process the CD and mail it out I will never know. But i could have expressed mailed it myself paying all charges too! Frustrating! We are both still toe touch weight bearing. I asked Dr. Millis if we could add more weight or even start PT. But he said only 1/3rd weight bearing for now. No PT. He also said he dictated in his notes to Dr. Buhr that he would prefer the CD's be sent priority at least so he receives them in a decent amount of time.
I will admit that I have begun to hobble around without my crutches. Help is minimal. Dusty works late. So I feel like I really don't have a choice. Laundry builds up fast, dishes run out quickly, and the toys are all over the house. So I do what I can. It may be little but little is better then nothing.
I have been having an increase in energy. I am knitting my family fingerless gloves. Each glove takes about a days time but could be faster if I worked without stopping.
Arianna and myself were to have appt last Wednesday with Dr. Buhr in town. But the nurse called to cancel it since they have heard no word from Dr. Millis. So a couple days later I finally sat down to write Dr. Millis an email myself. And he wrote back saying he finally received our Dec. 14th xrays. Why it took so long for the clinic to process the CD and mail it out I will never know. But i could have expressed mailed it myself paying all charges too! Frustrating! We are both still toe touch weight bearing. I asked Dr. Millis if we could add more weight or even start PT. But he said only 1/3rd weight bearing for now. No PT. He also said he dictated in his notes to Dr. Buhr that he would prefer the CD's be sent priority at least so he receives them in a decent amount of time.
I will admit that I have begun to hobble around without my crutches. Help is minimal. Dusty works late. So I feel like I really don't have a choice. Laundry builds up fast, dishes run out quickly, and the toys are all over the house. So I do what I can. It may be little but little is better then nothing.
I have been having an increase in energy. I am knitting my family fingerless gloves. Each glove takes about a days time but could be faster if I worked without stopping.
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