Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Left PAO One Year Birthday

One year ago today, I was undergoing my first surgery on my left hip.  I wasn't nervous at this point.  I just didn't know what to expect.  Because when I flew out the day before, I knew that when I flew back home that I would be on my journey to recovery.  And then I would know.  But I didn't know about that in between part.  But I was soon to find out.

Thankfully we aren't given the ability to know the future.  Because for me knowing the journey that I was to face over the next year, I would have said no.  It would have been too much for me to see how I was going to get through all I was to face and get to where I am today.  But God knew.  And He gave us the ability to live and enjoy the present.  What happened yesterday can't be changed.  What happens tomorrow, I don't know.  But today is what is happening and that is where I need to be living. 

Each day may have been a struggle.  I wanted my mother but she was undergoing chemo.  But yet I couldn't be there for her because I was recovering.  I expected and wanted more from family but was hurt when words wounded me.  Or when understanding wasn't there.  I hurt physically and emotionally.  But this was the only way I could learn to find me. 

God has a plan and along the way I lost myself and who I was.  I dwelled on my hurt and wounds. But prayer is powerful.  A daily prayer to God, who is loving, merciful, and forgiving.  He gave me light.  Just as Dr. Millis gave me hope with my hips. 

I am no longer having to tell my children "Mommy hurts today."  I no longer need to rely on strong narcotics to get me through every single day.  But instead find that tylenol will do.  Even better I have not felt that horrible pain that would last any where from a day to weeks on end.  I just now tell myself slow and steady, warm those joints. 

How beautiful is this new life I have been given!  A new outlook of how wonderful the simplicity of life truly is!  Happy One Year to my Left Hip!

Just one year ago was the start of a beautiful new journey in my life.

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