Monday, November 12, 2012

What a Year

Last year was a year recovering for me.  Childbirth recovery, LPAO, RPAO, Left screw removal.  Even though it was a hell of year, I wouldn't change it.  I have grown closer to God through this whole process.

With both my surgeries I had a bed sore on my tailbone region making it very hard to find a comfortable spot to lie down or sit.  The first bed sore with my LPAO wasn't as bad.  It healed up in about two weeks.  With my RPAO, that bed sore was painful and big.  I slathered all sorts of ointments on my rear to help with relief.  Thing is I was too embarassed to ask for medical advice.  I honestly was afraid that somehow it would be my fault when I all could do was lay on my back slightly turned or sit.  Standing for long lengths was exhausting and out of the question.  Those first weeks are kind of spent sleeping and taking it easy.  But after about a good 3.5-4 weeks it finally scabbed over and relief was found. 

Over the summer I was so thrilled to wear flip flops without having pain.  I like to wear my cowboy boots and don't have trouble.  I haven't ventured to wearing high heels and don't know if that will happen.  But wearing sandals is huge since previously it would cause the instability to greatly increase along with pain that I didn't know how long it would last for.  It was a good summer.

I still get upset when I feel like my surgery and recovery is made to sound easier compared to something in someone else's life that they are facing.  Yes once again, this wasn't the end of the world, there are worse things out there, etc, etc, etc.  But I am the one that went through this surgery and recovery.  I am the one that was faced with setbacks and obstacles that I had to face and deal with that many will never know about.  So yes it is upsetting when I am compared and made to feel like this was nothing compared to what someone else must face.  To each their own but unless you walk in that person's shoes, comparing and undermining is a big no no.  At least one person is bound to get hurt if not both from comparing.  Instead reaching out with support is by far much better.

As for my oldest daughter, no plans have been made as to when we will plan for Right hip surgery.  She doesn't sleep on her left side, even though I tell her it is okay.  I am not sure if it grosses her out or what.  But whatever her reasoning I do reassure her that it is ok.  Lesson learned on part, I will be pushing for PT early on for her.

Overall I am so thankful that I had the surgeries when I did. Yes it was a year of physical and emotional turmoil that in the end has made a stronger human being with such a greater and deeper love for God. 

I don't need much as each day is a blessing to me, knowing what I can accomplish with a little determination. And knowing that it is okay to cry or laugh because those tears and laughter are what makes me---me.

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