Monday, August 11, 2014

Where Has the Time Gone

I have so many blog posts in my head but making the time to put them out there seems to be the issue.  I feel I am consumed with my family these days.

We celebrated 9 years on our wedding anniversary this year!  Hopefully for our 10 years we can work at recreating our wedding day.  The biggest thing for me is to renew our vows.  And to have pictures that turn out without construction or scaffolding as our background.  Yes that is healing from what had went wrong that day.  But also to strengthen what we have accomplished and overcome. 

I am also working at expanding my DotsnStripesbyKatie on etsy to include more then just sewing.  I just really enjoy creating.  And I just want to share what I do.  When I craft a part of me is put into the piece I am working on.  And then to send it off to someone else is such a great feeling knowing that it was by hand.

But I am not going to lie.  7 kids is a lot of work.  They all have interests and desires that want or need to be fed.  And it does consume my time.  And as their mother I want to help nuture them or encourage them to be inspired and achieve what interests them.  But sometimes it just seems like too much.  Sometimes I have thoughts of it just being me.  What it would be to not constantly be after the school age kids at doing their homework or clean their rooms or help out.  Not to change dirty diapers or pick up after the 3 year old who learning to go potty on his own.  Not to plan meals and then to plan those meals around activities.  Not to worry about where everyone needs to be at such and such time.  Not to worry about will I forget someones scheduled activity.  Not to worry about trying to find time with my husband who I seem to just dump all my troubles and whines on when things fall apart.  But instead sometimes I think if it was only me I had to worry about.  But how boring my life would be.  I wouldn't have a book of stories like I do to look back on and laugh, cry, smile, or be filled with such joy. 

When we live by the second it is hard to see the path that the Lord has for us.  But when we look at the road we have traveled it is quite a beautiful and mesmerizing puzzle being put together.  Just hard to see when it feels like the pieces in our life are being scattered by the obstacles that we are challenged or faced with on a daily basis.

And sometimes we do need to step back and take a breath to renew ourselves so that we can keep pushing forward, giving ourselves to those we love. 

To trust is to let go of my own desires, wants, and fears.

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