Friday, January 29, 2010

Patience and Waiting, Waiting and Patience

Two things that don't come easy for me. I haven't heard anything yet from the doctor. I don't want to constantly call since it is long distance. So I am trying to be patient and wait it out. But I just want a call. I am a little impatient. I have been having bad days emotionally. I wouldn't mind another baby but I would like to have the surgery also. And when I feel like I have psyched myself into waiting for a baby then I go church and a couple come and sit in the same pew as me with their tiny newborn So it doesn't help me when I see newborn babies at church or when relatives of mine are announcing the wonderful news that they are expecting. I have my moments when I want a baby now and do surgery later. I do get frustrated with this because I just want to do something besides wait. I guess if we had a baby first then surgery, I would definitely want to get the pediatricians approval with breastfeeding after surgery. In all honestly I don't know what I want to do. In Katie's world, this is how it would go: Get pregnant now and have the baby due in the fall, surgery at the beginning of next year, and then my second surgery at the end of the same year. Yes that is how I would like to ultimately like it to go. But that is Katie's world and now for reality. Here is really how it should go. Wait for the baby and do surgery first. So for now I will just keep doing what I am doing... WAIT and work on being PATIENT.

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