UTI

I awoke Wednesday morning to what I suspected was the start of a bladder infection. I called the PCP office and was told that I would need to come in and leave a urine sample to be tested. If I hadn't went for that test drive on Monday I would have been in a bit of a mess. The nurse called me back around 330pm and said it was positive for an infection and an antibiotic was called out. They were going to culture it too just to make sure that the antibiotic is the right one to treat the infection.

Driving

I finally made the decision to try to go for a drive. Dusty road with me so that if my right leg wasn't tolerating it I would just pull over and let him take over.

It was the best thing. I felt "normal" and "free". It just felt really good.

I still have a long way but driving helped to clear my mind.

Physically and Emotionally

This surgery has been a challenge with the recovery process. I thought I knew what to expect. Well I did but what I didn't expect was the challenge of the emotional roller coaster or how I physically would recover different.

I will admit that I have said some really hurtful and hateful words to my husband. I didn't even think that what I was saying to him actually was hurting him. He just would listen and not once tell to stop or that is enough. He just would listen. I was taking out my own frustrations on him. As much as I wanted to be intimate with him I just couldn't find a comfortable position. That was hard on me. I felt like such a disappointment. I also struggled with my mom. Before surgery I had it planned out to where my mom would come over to help out when Dusty returned to work. But the week he returned my mom caught the flu bug and then once better went over to help my sister. I wasn't upset because she was helping my sister. I was just upset because I try to care for my kids but it is such a challenge. Picking up the baby and carrying from point A to point B was impossible when my hands are being used to crutch around. I was told to stay toe touch weight bearing until at least 8 weeks. Dr. Millis wants my surgical hip to heal and rest. But how am I to do this when I don't have the help? But it wasn't just my mom. I have been told by some family members that "oh honey just wait until am I old." And then proceed to chuckle about it. The laughter just stabbed me. It hit me that those around me don't really understand what I live like everyday. How yes I am young but that my joints are not. The pain I live with will never be understood by anybody but myself.

Physically I have struggled. The cold weather really tenses up my muscles causing more pain then what I want to feel right now. I also have been having seat bone pain. It comes and goes. But when it is there, it is there. I can hardly move or walk. It feels like I am grinding or twisting something in there when I go to walk.

So yes my challenges from this recovery have all been directed towards Dusty. I didn't realize how much I hurt him until my major outburst on Christmas day. I shed many tears. I shared my true feelings---physically and emotionally. It is one of the hardest things to be completely open and honest but it is the best things I could have done.

Home Week 2-3

I was discharged on Saturday 11/12 as was Arianna. This began my emotional whirlwind. I got into some dumb argument with Dusty. I then became upset because what I had packed to wear home just wasn't comfortable so I changed my clothes. This put me in tears and made me angry all at the same time. Which Dusty was busy packing everything up so he didn't really want to be dealing with me. And that made me say some hurtful words. Honestly I don't remember what I said.

The flight home was a direct flight into KC. I made sure I was medicated. All was going well into mid flight when I started to hurt and the hurt started to increase. I asked Dusty if it was time for another pain med. He said no I had 2 more hours! I couldn't believe it. I said well can I take 1 since I had only 1. He said no the prescription was written to take 1 every 4 hours as needed for pain. I told Dusty I was given 2 in the hospital. He said no since the script said 1. I could write Dr. Millis when we got home and get permission first. Well all I can say is that made for a long trip back home. A long trip that didn't end so well.

So I just tried to do anything to escape the hurt and pain for the next 2 hours. Finally 2 hours was up and I immediately took another 1 but by then it was playing catchup so the 1 gave some relief but not enough to sustain me for the 2.5 hour car ride home. Once we got home, Dusty's dad and step mom arrived at our house about 10-15 minutes after we got inside. I changed into my pjs. And as I was coming down the hall I was in tears from the pain. This was NOT how I wanted people to see me. His stepmom gave me hug and they took off so we could get settled down for the night. I did email Dr. Millis. He called me back and said I could take 2 every 4 hours and if needed 2 every 3 hours.

With that I was able to finally get caught back up on the managing the hurt. But my mood was so poor and I was saying such hurtful words that Sunday morning Dusty gave me orders that I was staying in bed. Well my parents came over to see us and as my mom made her way back to our room Dusty told her sternly that I was not to be disturbed. It upset my mom. So now she is staying away from helping me out. She calls but in the late afternoon when I am typically napping. And then other family members haven't called either.

All this has caused such a spiral whirlwind downhill of emotions. Emotions that I didn't have this bad with the left hip surgery. I have just been feeling so alone and down. I am frustrated with myself because I still need to take my pain medication about every 5-5.5 hours.

My pain medication has also been making me really sick. So at the follow up with Dr. Buhr I told him and he switched me to lortab. Dr. Buhr still wants to keep both Arianna and I on 1/6th weight bearing and limited activity until our next appt.

My Surgery Day

Monday 11/7

Dusty met me back at the hotel by 515 am to help gather up my bag and walk me to the hospital. It was a chilly walk but it was once again so nice to walk.

As I walked through the entrance and up to admitting, I was calm and ready. I checked in and my ID bracelet was placed on my wrist. I then had to leave a urine sample to check for a chance of pregnancy, which I knew I wasn't! I then was called back by the nurse to answer a few questions and get my blood pressure and temperature checked.

I didn't have to wait long to be called up to the preop holding area. And the guy that called my daughter also called me. Too funny!

I didn't have the same preop holding nurse as Arianna did. I actually had the same nurse when I had my left hip done. And I had the same OR nurse Arianna did which was the same nurse for my left hip.

Anesthesia came in, Dr. Millis came in to initial both my hips. He asked if I would like a catheter that is placed directly into the hip joint for pain relief instead of the epidural. But I was worried that I would hurt so he just said we would go with the epidural. They couldn't find the consent form I had signed. Dr. Millis said "shit it was back in his office."He said to go ahead and wheel me back and he would run over to get it. My IV was placed and some medication for anxiety was given through it. And almost immediately I said "I felt funny in the head". It worked fast. A patch was placed behind my ear too so that I wouldn't wake up and get sick. So I gave Dusty a kiss and handed off my glasses.

I was wheeled back to the OR and moved over the OR table. I was told to turn to my side and the epidural was placed. Then I rolled back over and anesthesia said something about go ahead and give her more then I was out.

I awoke and didn't get sick!!! I don't remember much in the recovery room. Oxygen was blowing in my face. I did feel pain on both sides so I associated it with incision pain since I had the left hip screws removed. It was just at the top of the hip and it felt like a burning feeling. It wasn't horrible just more uncomfortable.

I was brought up to my room and said Hi to Arianna. I had the window view which was nice. But I did sleep alot so not really sure what Arianna did with PT.

Day 2 Arianna

Sunday 11/6

Dr. Millis came in and cut off the ace bandage wrap. And removed the drain. He also wiped the steri strips with betadyne before covering with gauze and then a tegaderm waterproof dressing. He even scratched her belly because it gets itchy with the ace wrap and once removed it feels good to have it scratched!

When Dusty entered the room, Arianna's face lit with joy to see her dad, her best friend as he likes to think. But even for me it was sooooo good to see him!

We all talked and Arianna told her daddy that I was a hippo. So now I have a nickname of being a hippo...hmmm kids.

I ordered Arianna her dinner and then Dusty and I left to go eat but my tummy wasn't feeling too good. After dinner we walked back to the hospital to get my bag. I said good night to Arianna and then Dusty and I walked back to the hotel. I just stayed in the hotel and Dusty stayed with Arianna. Once again I didn't sleep well. I just missed my sleeping partner. We weren't even intimate, which could have helped to relax. But honestly I wasn't nervous this time. I knew I was in such wonderful experienced hands.

I did call my mom because I was in tears not really knowing why. I was able to fall asleep but once again only until 4am.

Day 1 Arianna

Saturday 11/5 was a better day for Arianna. She was able to eat a grape popsicle. She wasn't to fond of the idea but I told her give it a try. She also sipped at apple juice and seirra mist. Her room mate also was discharged so once the room was cleaned I pulled the curtains so she could see the window.

She also was more awake. She watched some TV and talked to her brother Brady on facetime with their ipods. Of course, when you talk to one they all want to talk.

By evening I had ordered Arianna some easy tummy food to try. But not much was eaten and that was okay at least it was a start.

Her heart rate would run higher then the nurses liked so they would give her a little valium and that would help to lower it to a more likeable norm. She also was running a low grade fever but there again she was given Tylenol which would bring it down. The nurses all reassured me that all this was normal after surgery.

.View from our room (looking down) otherwise you just saw windows.
This would be the front entrance view too.

Arianna's Surgery Day

It was a chilly walk to the hospital but it was nice. Arianna had her doll. And I had my daughter to talk with. I told her it was going to be okay. And she said that she was fine but she didn't want the IV placed while awake. I told her that was a very good decision.

As we walked through the entrance I told her we would take the stairs. We didn't have to wait long for Admitting to open. Once the doors were open, we checked in and they placed her ID bracelet on. Then all we had to do was sit. We didn't sit for long and were called back by the nurse to answer just a few questions and to take her blood pressure and temperature. Then back out to the waiting room only to wait once again for such a short while before being called to be taken up to the preop holding area.

Once in the holding room, I asked Arianna if she wanted to sing Happy Birthday to her sister Paylynn. She said yes so I recorded her and Gracey singing. It was funny to see her smiling in the video and then get really serious when the nurse entered in the room. The nurse brought a pair of pants and gown for Arianna to change into and a warm blanket to cover up with. Anesthesia was first to meet with her and we told them that she would like to do the mask and then have the IV placed once asleep. They asked her what flavor and she picked root beer. They asked her if she wanted me to go back into the OR room with her. She said yes.

The OR nurse came to say HI. And then Dr. Millis came to HI. A child life specialists also came to ask if she wanted to play a game or color. She wanted to color. So she colored and watched a movie on the Ipad. Then once all was ready I was given a blue hat, blue gown, and blue mask. I put it on and then they wheeled her back and I followed. They had her move onto to the OR table. And the OR nurse began to secure her legs as anesthesia prepared to place the mask. Once they brought it close to her face her anxiety broke free. She attempted to push it away but I took her hands and told her all was going to be okay. I was here for her and she was in such wonderful hands and then she fell asleep. I then was guided out to the waiting area where I checked in. At this time I asked where I could pump since I was still breastfeeding Edgar.

Back in the room I just cried because it was so hard to watch my daughter be so brave and then watch her fears come out at the last minute. It was hard as a mother to be strong but I did it for her. I was so proud of her.

As I exited the room where I pumped, the health history nurse from the previous day was coming towards me calling my name. She had something in her hand. She said they were going to need another urine sample---I about dropped to the floor thinking "oh my goodness I was pregnant how could it be". But she said it was because mine was contaminated and I need not to worry. I explained to her why I looked to shocked and she tried hard not to laugh.

The waiting was hard on me. It was just me. I did listened to my music and crocheted. I also read my book. I was updated when the incision was made and then once the doctor was fixating the hip. Then the Dr. Millis came out with such a happy face. He was just so pleased as he spoke to me. At that point I knew this was the best thing I could do for my daughter.

I did have to wait about another 30 minutes before going back to recovery room. I definitely wasn't prepared for that. She looked so pale. The PACU nurse was wonderful at explaining everything to me. She gave report to the floor nurse and then right before they moved her, Arianna got sick so the nurse had to give her some medicine.

She was in room 1026 B. She did have a room mate her age but was going to be discharged the next day. Her room mate and mother were so polite. And then the floor was going to hold the other bed for me since I was having surgery on Monday.

Arianna kept getting sick. She also had an epidural so she could push a button to get a bolus if hurting. She seemed to need to push the button about every 2-3 hours which to me was really good considering she could have a bolus every 30 minutes. They also said she could have ice chips and clear liquids as tolerated. Since she was getting sick about every 2 hours I just gave her a few ice chips to wet her mouth. Once her night nurse came on she began the breathing exercises hourly. Arianna also only got sick just once during the night. So it was good that she wasn't getting sick anymore.

For me it was different to play the caregiver, even if it was only for 3 days.

PreOp

Thursday 11/3 was preop day for both of us. We began the day at the hospital at 9am EST in Admitting.

I checked us in. A nurse called us both back and asked all sorts of health history questions. She gave Arianna's doll an ID band and gave her a pink star balloon. After all the questions, the nurse placed a patch on Arianna's arm to numb it for some blood work later on.

Next we met with anesthesia. The lady that talked with us was a patient of Dr. Millis and had her hips done 10 years ago! I was asked about how Arianna tolerated needles and I said honestly not so good but we would see how she did with the numbing patch. But she told Arianna that if she wanted they could give her smelly flavored gas of her choice. She listed the choices---strawberry, root beer, lemon, lime, watermelon, cotton candy to name a few.

Next we met with admitting to sign a few papers and verify that spellings were correct. That didn't take long at all.

Next we were to see Dr. Millis but the nurse told us that we were to head to lab first especially since she didn't want that numbing patch to wear off. Arianna did great with the lab draw. She didn't feel a thing! I also had my lab drawn. And then we both had to leave a urine sample. I had joked with Dusty about how we better not find out we were expecting---inside joke since last time I had the right hip scheduled we found out we were expecting. I knew we weren't so I really wasn't worried.

After lab I checked us in for our appt with Dr. Millis. He wanted some xrays so we headed to Radiology. At this point Arianna was asking for lunch. I told her just a little bit longer and offered her some pretzels and chocolate. We both did a couple of xrays and then they called down Dr. Millis to come and hold our legs---kinda of reminds me of the position I am in when giving birth. But it does open the hip joint. Funny thing was that when Dr. Millis came down he told me that from the start of the day everyone was calling Arianna and I sisters! Arianna wasn't too thrilled about this but it made me feel good.

After our xrays we went to wait to meet with Dr. Millis but I got a phone call at 245pm saying they could do Arianna's MRI. So we walked back to the MRI. This time Arianna's arm was NOT numb. They used a butterfly needle but missed the vein so the lady got another person. She didn't want to restick her so she left it in place. The next person was able to get it but I thought Arianna was going to pass out. After the dye was injected we went walking for about 30 minutes. But boy did I ever hear about how it hurt. So at 330 pm Arianna was set up for the MRI. She was able to watch a movie during the MRI and I was able to sit back in the room with her. I was given a warm blanket. And thank goodness too because the room was cold. During the wait I looked at magazines but then started to focus on food. Once Arianna's MRI was done, we walked back over to meet with Dr. Millis.

We were his last visit for the day and here we were to meet with him at 11 and 1130am. Well we didn't meet him until around 545pm. But he still took the time to go over everything. He really is such a wonderful doctor. And I am so thankful he took us as his patients. He will always hold a place in my heart for what he has done.

Once we finished up with signing the consents, we were done. So I let Arianna pick what she wanted. She said McDonald's and a hot chocolate. But by the time we got to Dunkin' Donuts they were closed. And McD's were out of chocolate syrup so I felt bad that she didn't get her hot chocolate. We ate our food and I had Arianna shower and then go to bed. Her surgery was first thing at 730am, meaning we had to be at the hospital by 6am.

I didn't sleep so well for fear I would oversleep so I was up at 4am Friday. Plus I had mommy worries just knowing that I had to put my daughter through surgery. But then again I didn't want her to hurt and live like I have been living. I want to give my daughter the best life and hopefully by doing the surgery now it will save her from hurt and pain later and let her enjoy life without added worries.