Today was to be my surgery day. In a way it is a relief to have it here and to let it go now. It saddens me a bit to know that I have to wait for another surgery day. But I will get that day and that day will be meant for me. This day just wasn't it. Last night was kind of a hard night for me, just knowing that today I could be in surgery and on my way to recovery. But when I finally woke for the day, I just had to let the day go and move on. I will get my day. I will get to feeling better. My hips won't give out on me. I won't stand up and feel like an 80 year old arthritic woman. One day I will be able to do things that I want to do. The simple things that everybody else around me can do- walk without PAIN, walk without FEAR.
I think the Lord is letting the morning sickness ease up today and yesterday. He knew I would have a hard time and that I didn't need to be so sick. It just is hard to know that I have to wait. I know there is a reason for this happening. But I just want to feel better. I just want to be able to go for a walk without feeling sore or hurting afterwards. I really am ok. I just need to let this day go. I will get mine. I will. Just not yet but soon. I just don't know when that day will be. It would make me feel better to have a day but I will get it in time. I just have to wait and be patient.
Today is my mother's birthday. So I get to be here for that. I am going to make her dinner- manicotti. My sister gets her ultrasound today and will find out boy or girl. How exciting. And what a day.
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