Week 10

Not much news this week. I must admit that after watching the house around me come falling down into a disastrous mess, I made a personal decision to lay my crutches to the side for 2 hours a day to pick up. This really requires me to listen to my body and to really focus on not limping.
The first day I started in Emma's and Paylynn's room and started with the floor. It was a slow process because I just can't bend, squat, kneel. I have to think about what I do. And then getting back up requires thinking and using furniture as help. It is a bit of an exhausting process. And since I haven't been cleared for physical therapy yet either it really is a challenge. Also there is the guilt that I am doing something wrong because I haven't been given the "OK". But I am tired of waiting for a miracle to occur.
After that 2 hours of just picking up the floor and running the sweeper I felt pretty good until I sat down to eat some lunch and wow the soreness set in. Was it worth it, yes. I felt some peace and comfort knowing that I accomplished a chore on my own. It was a lot of work to just pick up a floor, one floor but I did it. And I haven't done any more rooms since then either.
I also did get lectured from family members about doing this but had no offers to come over to help me. I also have been told that I am nuts for driving. This is hard! Even more so now that everything I do I have to put thought into it. I start to second guess myself. I try to stay strong. But I am very vulnerable right now. My emotions are shaky. I can't just do things. For instance when I took the girls outside to play in the sprinkler and then to find out that we had a cracked water pipe and playing in the sprinkler caused a huge water mess in the basement. I couldn't just pull out the boxes that were soaked. I couldn't just get in there to start sopping up the water. I did manage to set up a couple of fans, lay towels down where I could but I just couldn't jump in and begin drying the water up, picking up the wet boxes and start drying them out. Or how about yesterday when I thought I was doing good and washing up the kids sheets and comforters only to find out that my washing machine was leaking water. There again I couldn't just pull out my washing machine. I did what I could.