Teen Mom

Today I awoke way to early but I just couldn't sleep.  Something I find myself doing.  Just waking up to toss and turn.  I don't hurt.  I just can't sleep.  Today it was 230am. Yes just way to early.  It isn't fun. 

Today has also brought up some hurt feelings from the past.  As most of heard or perhaps even watched the show Teen Mom.  Well someone on facebook mentioned this show and made a comment.  I just thought how I was a teen mom.  I gave up eating with my friends during lunch to go eat my sack lunch in the nurses room so I could pump.  I took her to all her well child checkups.  I went to all my prenatal checks.  I even labored without any drugs.  I did this for my baby.  Yes I was scared of being a mother.  And yes I had my mother to help me so I could stay in school and graduate.  My family was my village.   I was young.  I was 17 when I gave birth.  I loved my baby with all my heart.  I gave her my all at such a young age of when most high schoolers are having fun and hanging out.  Motherhood is a gift God has blessed me with.  Not all teen mom's are selfish. 

I remember a conversation I had with my OB at the time.  I was having cramping and called to ask about it. He just flat out told me there was nothing that could be done if anything happened.  This really stuck with me as I felt lost as to "what if".  But I went on to have a healthy baby. And the OB went back to his office to let his entire staff know how I delivered without any drugs and how wonderful I did.  He just was very impressed.  Or I remember how the pediatrician at first must have not thought much of me as I was a teen mom.  He must have thought I wouldn't keep with her appts. That my life would get into the way of caring for this precious life God had given to me.  But I loved my daughter that I took her to all her appts. 

It wasn't easy.  But I don't regret that I was cut short of living a "typical" life that the world portrays.