Semi-Frustrated Explosion

My left is really aching today. It is making me very irritable. I just don't see how things are going to get done around the house when I am recovering. I can't comprehend being out for many weeks not doing laundry or caring for the kids. It is all going to be on Dusty. It just bothers me to think that about it. Currently I am not doing a good job at it either so why the worry I don't know. I have so many questions of how am I going to do this. I don't have help now so why do I want help later when I am a freaking mess. No I don't want people to see me like that. I am seriously full of frustrations somedays. It frustrates me that I have to do this surgery. It would be wonderful if I could just be normal and not have to worry about this. Or just going for a walk should not cause pain. Yes yesterday was beautiful and I wanted to get out. So I strapped Edgar to me and the girls went into the double stroller. It was so great to be outside in the fresh air. But now look I hurt from it. For once I would love to be normal.